Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

China Auto Body Slams ‘Vicious Competition’ After BYD Price Cuts - Bloomberg

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How are max different from medical and minimum security prisons?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why can’t my wife just accept the fact that I’m going to cheat?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Are vampires real?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Do people have to be a pastor to baptize?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Samsung is giving these Galaxy phones a big One UI upgrade - here's which models qualify - ZDNET

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

If Donald Trump is so evil and Joe Biden is so good why is Trump the one selflessly providing Bibles for the needy while Biden doesn't? Why doesn't Biden care for America's spiritually needy people as much as Trump?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a reading level above third grade

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.